Home > Humor, politics > Don’t Squeeze the Charmin®…

Don’t Squeeze the Charmin®…

Courtesy: Charmin.com

 Shshshhhhh….wait….hear that?!  No?  Why, it’s the sound of our country being flushed down the toilet!  Ah, ultimate privacy, closed doors and an aromatic spray that covers as well as the cheapest, off-brand Glade® scent (hmmm…Country Flower or Clean Linen??).  Something STINKS, folks!  Recently, we have been force fed the “Come hell or high-water”, Cure-all in the form of ObamaPelosiCare scheme.  Now the, ah, “shtuff” is REALLY hittin’ the fan!  I don’t know about you, but I spent ALL 76 hours reading the latest thousand-pager bill.  I’m tellin’ you, people, it was better than the Twilight Saga.  You ask, “Is she serious?”  Puh, of course not!  I’d like to know of ONE person who was able to read that bill in full before it was signed, sealed, kissed, petted, and affectionately referred to as, “George.” Anyone?  ANYONE?  I’d bet my kids Little People™ collection that not a single person is able to even fully comprehend the thing, even five days post-press!  

So, now what?  That’s what I’m askin’ myself.  I’m not seein’ the sudden glow from heaven in the form of healthcare fall upon anyone.  I don’t see a ray of sunshine suddenly blaze through the darkness and kiss all the medical problems, buh-bye.  This is what I saw, some shady, smelly deals.  “I’ll scratch your back, if you’ll scratch mine” kinda crap.  Some schmo’ gets on a plane (or was it a UFO….Kucinich? Nevermind…) and BLANG!  He sees the healthcare light!  HALLELUJAH!!!  It’s a MIRACLE! Then, amazingly, a few days later the staunch pro-lifer Stupak has, with only moments to spare, finally been granted a 14K gold-plated deal in the form of the firmest guarantee: the word of none other than the Chosen One: You got it!  Barack Hussein Obama!  (You know they say he can walk on water….) So, now the only thing that stands between an abortion and tax dollars ripe for the picking is the signature of our, oh, so, reliable President.  I’m thinkin’ he didn’t use 22 pens for this one.  Sorry Montblanc®.  Rather, I believe that this “document” resembles the fresh, 2-ply squares of Quilted Northern™.   I’m pretty sure you could wipe the butt of some cute, Charmin bear with better results.  Bounty paper towels will hold more water to what this promise will amount to. 

Unbelievably, this administration is under the massive delusion that this is what the American people want.  There is more time spent making fun of Tea Parties that actually listening to what people are trying to say. So, here’s the deal.  I think the Dem’s know their time is limited.  So they’re gonna flush this sucker (aka. our beloved America) to kingdom come, all the while, hoping that even RotoRooter can’t dredge all the crap out.  They just keep stuffing the pipes, all the while not realizing that, at some point, this thing’s gonna blow.  What will we have then?  A HOT MESS!  What do we have now?  Leaky pipes, closed doors, a TREMENDOUS sewage bill, and a reeking odor coming from Washington.

  1. October 18, 2010 at 1:37 am

    Very well done. I wonder if you can update this post just a bit and submit it to DV? I think Bob would like it.

    • Order in the Quart!
      October 18, 2010 at 1:40 am

      Sure doc. It was fun to write. I’ll have a Part Deux 😉 When I finish, I’ll send it to him and cc you on it. Thanks for your support!

  2. October 18, 2010 at 2:09 am

    I’d suggest trying to make it more specific to the election only a couple of weeks away. I don’t think it would entail too many substantive changes.

    As I read more of your posts I am put in mind of another of the contributors at Dakota Voice, Gina Miller–not so much in style, but in temperament and conviction.
    Gina is a very commited and outspoken sister in Christ, a bit of a firebrand some would say. I love her dearly and look forward to her posts. She works in radio and records her comments for play on her station in Gulf Port, Mississippi and then posts the audio and transcript on DV. Here is an example:


  3. November 30, 2010 at 3:06 am

    Hi there! I really enjoyed your piece on fighting for modesty. I did post in on both my Facebook page and fan page. I thought you might enjoy this Youtube video, it really does provide a glimpse into how much fashions have changed. Look at these modern day performers… and compare them to our entertainers today… It’s heartbreaking…

    • Order in the Quart!
      November 30, 2010 at 5:11 pm

      Thanks Dorothy!
      Yes, it IS tragic! What is so sad is that acceptance of society’s vision for what beauty is and what beauty REALLY is. Its so refreshing when you see an actress or performer who dresses with class instead of with the current “less is more” attitude. In my humble opinion, it is a demonstration of how one feels about oneself, when she dresses with all of her assets exposed. She feels there is nothing within that is attractive.

      Thanks for your support! Keep shining that light!

  4. January 13, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    Jennifer… I only realized today that you responded! Thanks for taking the time! I absolutely LOVE your style of writing! If you lived closer, I suggest a cup of tea! 🙂
    Keep doing what you are doing because the world needs YOU!

    • Order in the Quart!
      January 14, 2011 at 5:29 am

      You are such an encouragement to me! Thank you for your kind words. We must continue to band together for the sake of One greater than ourselves. It is His opinion that matters MOST! Thank you for blessing me, today 🙂


  1. October 21, 2010 at 11:05 am
  2. November 6, 2010 at 2:03 am

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