Home > Humor, politics > A Holiday Satire. Merry Christmas!!

A Holiday Satire. Merry Christmas!!

Well, it seems that Mr. Reid and Ms. Pelosi will likely be congratulating each other.  I envision champagne flutes filled to the brim, toasting the socialist nation that is finally within the grasp of their power-hungry hands.   When they lay their heads to rest tonight they’ll likely be filled with visions of subservient peons dancing to the communist tune of their choosing.  Gone are the days of sugarplum fairies, this government heralds in bribery, extortion, and blackmail. You can almost hear the tarnished silver bells ringing, proclaiming the dawn of a new age in America.  It wouldn’t surprise me in the least to wake up to the Liberty bell fully cracked. 

In light of this little gift the far left has given us, I come bearing gifts, too.  A little humor and satire for the holidays.  God bless each of you.  Merry Christmas.  I pray that you all are blessed by the true meaning of the season, though many in our government would rather that you forget anything having to do with our Almighty.  Thankfully we will never find him bound up in the attic.  He reigns forever!!

A Holiday Satire

So, Santa has been layed off.  Forced to be one of the over 400,000 new claimants in the unemployment benefit system.  His robust, “Ho! Ho! Ho!” has been replaced with the dark, “HA!HA!HA!” from New American Order dream trio.  Mrs. Claus, having lost the majority of her medicare benefits, has now taken the jolly position of head Wal-Mart greeter.   Poor Rudolph has been forced to extinguish his lighted nose as it was found in the recent Copenhagen summit to be negatively impacting the environment.  No matter, most of the reindeer joined up with PETA in their latest fight against fur campaign.   The late Frosty the snowman met his demise when he was led to a dark room with a sole bright light.  He was a trooper, refusing to give the names of the innocent children with whom he would laugh and play.  The infamous abominable snowman has even felt the economic pinch and teamed up the Jon Gosselin for a new reality tv show.  And the polar bears!  Well, after the constant speculation that they were losing the battle to climate change, they have now officially been hired for landscaping and care of the Gore mansions.  Buddy, the elf, decided to return to the land of the elves and was welcomed warmly, due to the recent affirmative action lawsuits the elves were facing for not having employed outside their race.   Toy soldiers expect, any day now, to be deployed to Afghanistan after the recent decision to allow for 30,000 American troops release, despite General Mccrystal’s request for 40,000.  The disparage will be made up for with 5,000 toy soldiers and 5,000 nutcrackers with the partridge in a pear tree on bugle.  Imagine the surprise of American children when waiting in long lines at the mall only to sit on the laps of their local politicians.  Remember Santa is unemployed, thus his entire staff of helpers layed off.   The beautifully wrapped presents laid under the trees of any home making more than $250, 000/year have been confiscated and more appropriately given to the poor, unfortunate illegal immigrant who can’t even get a bottle of water whilst straining over the non-existant border fence.  

Ah, and who could forget the White House?  All decked out with twinkle lights though one can only see them with night-vision goggles, as the solar-powered tiny bulbs only remain lit for 2.7 seconds.   Following his less than gushing reception at the recent Copenhagen summit, Barack has taken his new “Hope” in the dangling mistletoe hat.  His incessant need for strokes and affection just isn’t being met as eagerly as before.  After the failure and resignations of recent advisor appointments, he has reluctantly decided to give the Grinch a second chance.  Mr. Grinch will serve as ambassador to the U.N. on behalf of the Secretary of State.  In the spirit of second chances, President Obama is sure Tiger Woods will make a fine addition to the Health and Human services team.  Mr. Woods recent “bang up” job has given the president every assurance that he will fit right in Washington.  Hillary Clinton has begun an early start on her New Year’s resolutions.  First, she has resolved to never again take a bribed position in exchange for service to community organizers.  Second, she’d really like to lose the pesky ten pounds she has acquired due to her addiction to Godiva chocolates.  Third, never to give up drinking in exchange for chocolate.  

Finally, Mahmoud “Trigger” Ahmadinejad, Hugo “Winky” Chavez, Vladmir “JJ” Putin, and Omar “J-diz” Qadaafi have decided on the first annual white elephant gift exchange, which will likely result in an explosive uproar. 

May you find humor in the ridiculous state of the world.  I know I’m laughin’ my head off.

Jennifer

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